I got a new car. It rules. It was cheap. It goes fast. It is plush. It gets cold fast. It plays MP3 CDs. It smells good. It looks black, but it secretly is blue. It has handles to hold on to. It feels solid when you close its doors.
Its name is Suck Chin. It is my car.
(Look, the old car is in the background. Poor Caddy.)